I am Back on the last day of 2018!

My Ipad broke and I just could not get back to you.  It has been a while.  But on this last day of the year, I loudly declare that I.am.back.

Oh, and I am back in a vivacious way!  To write about me life and struggles///me joys me happy tears!  So excited to be back and to be able to do this!  More to come but for now…Happy Last Day of the year.

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Hold up…wait a minute!,,

Very long and blog type writing/just letting you know. So get coffee, Danish, food, meds….take a seat or lay down…but should you start this…please read it until the end…just because you can…..

Day 791–I have not known what to write to you this day. Yes, because I missed yesterday. I did not FBLive or write. Such a tragedy to lose a day.

However, there is a reason. It is a reason I hate to admit but ,,9it is the truth verified by my doctor. ‘

1. I forgot to remember that my disability halts me to pick m my heavier paintings and in an effort to work I lifted beyond my capacity and my tumor and the muscles around my neck reacted. Yes. I went to the doctor and I am better. ,

2. Spray painting up close and down on the floor (where I placed my work for easier access) caused a terrible allergic reaction. ,Yes. My wonderful doctor called in a prescription. Yes. It is working.

3. With all this going on my eyes are like a kaleidoscope on steroids. My doctor on looked very concerned about this matter she nor my team of physicians can conquer.

All that being written, I press on. My brother Ravnell Gregory, had me laughing so hard this morning I had to take medicine and just listen to Chopin to calm my brain and this tumor down….are you still reading?…okay ….just a little more…

.no I will not get preachy….just allowing the music and muse2 guide my brain on what to share…..

Confirmation that this is really long is that I have a list of things I want to do….but at this moment must wait.

Yes, Vandy L. Jackson, this is more of a blog that a status 🙂 but my WordPress app won’t work so here we are with all this flowing from my brain into my fingers while Chopin goes on and on…fingers precisely hitting the keys and restoring a faith in myself that seemed lost for a little while.

Disabled ness is a daily mental fight to do what I can fervently….injuring myself is apart of it… but when my injury slays me or is at a halt..omg//….I feel useless.

So there, are no Ha Ha or Kee kee’s through this….just me in my art room with a very bright light shining over a duller light and a piano playing without commercial interruption as the rain softly hits the ground in a type of soothing syncopation. It makes me think about the fact that We are on our way into 2018…we have overcome…we have lived…we have made it….we choose good, bad, indifferent….but at least we chose…we moved…we did something. I am grateful to my doctors, to God and to you FB family.

Words do hurt

People say Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

That is a lie. Words hurt.

Not only that but they sting and can separate.

But words can also reveal the truth of a person. You know?

Yes, The way they talk to me. Their tone of voice…Always blaming me….slamming doors…cussing….walking out of the house and not saying goodbye….those things hurt me.

Telling me it is all my fault.

Analyzing me without a degree and with a history of torrid relationships.

So what is it I an do about these words and actions of others toward me?

Well, first I have learned to get away from the power of harshness through mediation and by prayer.

I focus on me.

I have learned to take care of my heart by speaking soothing words to myself. Now that has proven to help me most.

I encourage you to try it too!

Words hurt but they can also heal.

And sometimes those healing words come as we turn to the mirror, focus on the good and encourage ourselves🎉

Live!

🎉🎉🎉🎉This is 🥑🍇🍕🌭🍔🥗🍤🧀🍟☕️🥛🍺🍷long y’all🎉🎉🎉🎉 Lunchtime Read!

Day 777–Part 2–

Listen to it. That fire within you that tells you to try…

Go for it—That feeling of fear that halts your breath..

Stand up to it—that wall of words and limits that try to shut you down….

My thinking …..

….was so lost on what I had/have lost…but one day while in Intensive care (I was all incubated)

I tried to hum and couldn’t. So I just tapped my finger as if humming the tune🎶

I encourage you today..this moment…Let nothing stop you….do it..

speak it out..write it out…and tell all the negativity in your brain to shut up while you get it done…even if it is just breathing in.out..in.out….do it and let the calm lift you….

…allow life to give to you for a change.

I sure have🌝