January, I suffered a stroke. It has not been easy adjusting to my new body but I am determined to keep going forward. Prior to his Stroke, I was recovering from Infusion surgery and dealing with an eye disorder called Oscillopsia. An Acoustic Neuroma tumor took the hearing in my right ear and I was using a walker to get around. Now with the stroke, I am learning to walk again with limited use of my left side. But still, I am determined to keep going. The old adage says when life serves you Lemons make what? yes, Lemonade. This is what I try to do every single day. Brain surgery was hard but I stayed patient and held on to my faith. Lemonade. I am doing the same thing now. Beyonce did it and turned her pain into millions through song. I write to you. Writing is hard because this app works best on an IPad. Still, the possibility of making Lemonade is just too exciting to pass up. Soon I press/type geytting these words out of my soul and to our eyes. bouncing all the way for me. Let me encourage you , Just don’t give up, Make Lemonade.Play good music sharpen your brain and have a little fun. No matter what Lemonade is great tasting, quite refreshing. sweet and tarty like life! It requires squeezing and gentle pouring vigorous stirring and the sound of cackling cold ice that can cause your mouth to run water. but stay with it. each time I try to step or do things on my own it feels like squeezing or cackling ice. but I realize that if I stay the course. that refreshing drink will keep me coming back for more. Thank you for following me. please like and share!
Truth
Love changes the bad memories
He called me. It was quite a surprise.
Many years ago when our children were so young. He said words and stopped loving me.
I just didn’t know how to stop loving him. But I realized it was over.
So, I learned to live without him. But the love of what we shared…the beautiful children we made together….kept me going through it all.
My faith prevailed. My heart loved what was left. Therapy helped me cope with the pounding horror of what I could not change.
20 some odd years later…..he called. He did remarry. But it seemed that Love provoked him to call…to call me…..
He spoke beautiful words to me. He wished me Happy Mother’s Day. He thanked me for our four Beautifuls. Tears poured from my eyes as Memories of the good of our former marriage poured into my mind.
God’s scripture was proven again, “Wait on the Lord and be of good courage…” He will take care of every situation.
Our battles belong to God and He never loses. So I pray your day is unexpectedly filled with surprises of affection, gifts of love and kind words.
Happy Mother’s Day💫
You matter🎁
Truth!!!!!
Day 315- Day 48 Radiation Recovery………
When I talk to my Doctors my voice shakes….
It has caused me to wonder why.. No matter how strong my voice carries at the end or somewhere in there emotions hit my truth veins and my vocal chords give in….’she’s telling y’all the truth’ it seems to interpret….all subconsciously….
Because after I’m done they stop filibustering…
It is so difficult appearing normal…so my truth is to just accept my maladies…..7 years in….
So what am I saying to you today?
Tell the truth even if your voice shakes…..
Even if it costs you….tell the Truth…plain&Simple.
Our God is good. But He also doesn’t ‘ play the radio’.
Neither does the Universe….we all have heard of Karma whether we believe it or not…Just tell the truth on your job..to your children..to friends …in your mirror…finally say it…speak it firm like Sojourner Truth did in the face of being hung….finally just get the mirror…..make the call..hold the meeting…say it..stop grinning and burying it.
And allow Truth to make you free…even if your voice shakes. You Matter.
That ‘R’ Word…
Happy Saturday all!!!! Day 243- HumanPart 7-Acceptance
We all aren’t Shaped liked Pears. Our ‘good’ sides vary in photography.
We all have lost….something..someone…
On yesterday, My acceptance of my Doctors words brought tears.
I now face Radiation. A one time shot of it to kill this Tumor.
We all have something that tugs for Acceptance. It can be Medical, Emotional or Financial. Acceptance waits.
We all have needs…..
We all hate something or even someone. Some food…or smell…or color….you feel me?!
But it is our Power of Acceptance that keeps us moving….to stand there and keep asking why can kill us…acceptance gets us motivated to do something for Our Heart…puts our emotions in check!
Acceptance of the good and the very bad gives you, me, us , we THAT reason to keep it moving!
We are Human.
Rain made decision
Rain always makes e so happy. So in light of the few emotional days I’ve had…..this rain this morning is quite welcomed. Yeah. OK so ….I allowed a situation to get the best of me..isolation was all I could phantom. So I turned on Zen music radio on #Pandora and I laid down….revisiting the scene….bitterness envelope d me….then ..anger..hurt ..disappointment in myself. For allowing this same type of situation to get the best of this girl right here.
People say so much crap. Then the moment you remind them of it..they done forgot they said it and omg..I am the liar..the worse person ever! …
So as the rain poured. It did a kind of soul surgery like @Beyonce sings about in her song ‘pretty hurts’. As I lay listening to this rain….more of her words came..’ are you happy?’ Then pics appeared of those who bring me most joy. Of when I am in pure darkness emotional lay…it is their laugh..their very name that sets the light in the right angle and hopeless ness evaporates amidst what I earlier claimed as despair.
Suddenly I felt freed from it. My vision of what makes me happy attached itself to what I can do..oh yes I can do it! I love joy. Music. painting. Laying down on the beach edge. I love Restaurants. Sangria. Latino music. And pretending my hair is not coarse (smh). The rain…….the soul surgery rain caused me to bleed out emotional truths previously denied by me that I tried to ignore. Finally to
grasp what I want! To be around people going somewhere…to be around readers….doers…unafraiders…..yeah. Rain made decision = Mediocrity never!
Whine, Whine…suck suck.. feel me?
^^^^^^^ ATTENTION! ATTENTION! ###### mILD POFANITY IN THIS BLOG TODAY^^^^^^just sayin
I am hungry. But lethargic…just don’t want to do nuthin….Been YouTube-n strong women singers like Fantasia, Kelly Clarkston, Christina Alguerlara…just to get my inside up….the hooks makes the song…..Stonger’s hook is best….yes i am humming it right now as I type….I am going to paint……I’ve learned something about me…..when I am in pain…I lose my ability to ponder in my heart. I want resolution…I want to keep talking when silence is best…then when I finally get up the courage to say what I think I need to say…my words comeout stupid to me….feel me? I hate conflict…we are human…God made us to hate things and sometimes the actions of people….the mountain they/life can give us seems too much …mountain of lies or being falsely accused like I was during choir rehearsal….I felt like a loser, I couldnot hear her because of my malady and I could not punch her for fear in my trying to get up her advantage would have cause my punch to miss….here it is …damit….other mountains come to mind as I am typing…the one when not forgiving and spewing my past is the best the other person has to make themselves look bigger….AND I was the one always at the ready to forgive oh man .mountains of emotional screams on the inside…mountains of just ignoring us as if we are not there at all….and even this 55 year old Christian woman (me)…that mess hurts like hell…my lessons are them same it seems…but this time…I am going to learn and beat it….my world spins…everysinglemoment of everysingle day…nothing stops it….and it is almost maddening…..and the harder I try to fight it …to speak peace to it….the more it speeds up…now there are migranes and my visions is doubling at times….I am just gonna type it…shit. I want to call somebody…and say come and get me and make it stop….but no…and I keep saying I am healed…I keep trying to do things normal…I end up nearly falling or falling into a wall or door and laughing at myself is getting old………even as I typed this the page is just a moving like a gulliotine(sp) yes it’s true…then the pity looks,,,oh how I hate those…so shut it! …….here it is again…shit. I cannot comb my hair today…I cannot …so I just won’t. But I havn’t eaten or had the green monster this is now boring…whine, whine me me…poo poo….suck..suck…I will say it now…i could be so much worse….so I AM grateful to be alive….I hate the way I feel right now. Brought to you all by #honesty
melodypj4 